Eagles refute rumor that they care who the head coach is

Facebook, Twitter and the Blogosphere exploded on Sunday night with a “report” that the Eagles cared who their head coach was, but the team issued a statement on Tuesday flatly denying any such concern.

The erroneous report was picked up by several Eagles-related blogs run by teenagers and other people that generally don’t know what they’re talking about, but people started taking them seriously anyway. This firestorm led to a severe bunching of panties by traditional news sources that had to waste their time to refute reports that we all knew were stupid to begin with.

A high-ranking Eagles official, asked about the report on Tuesday, responded, “C’mon now.”

“After hearing the rumors that Jon Gruden was close to becoming the next Eagles head coach and the subsequent rumor that we somehow cared about who we let coach our team, we felt it necessary to dispel both of those rumors,” read the statement. “Whether Andy Reid or Jon Gruden or Bobo the chimp is the coach, we don’t really care either way, so don’t let anyone tell you any different.”

Report: Shawn Andrews only Tweeting at 26% of full potential

Just two days after being released by the Eagles, Shawn Andrews met with Twitter executives to discuss a lack of focus on his day-to-day Tweeting.

“Ten years from now, we could be talking about Shawn as one of the greatest Tweeters of all time,” said a Twitter head coach. “The talent is certainly there, but he’s just not making the best use of the 140-character limit each time he updates his status.”

Some Twitter officials have estimated that Andrews is Tweeting at nearly a quarter of his potential after watching film of Andrews’ dominant Tweeting early on in his career as compared to now.

“I’ve seen the guy do things with 140-characters that most guys couldn’t do with 500,” said one Twitter executive. “Some people blame off-the-screen distractions, like his involvement in pro football, for the lack of focus. I’d rather he focus on his Tweets, but if he wants to continue to play football, he’s a grown man. Let him play.”

Freddie Mitchell preps for comeback, will limit jabs to occasional smack Tweet

The last time we saw Freddie Mitchell in a pro football game was as a soft-spoken member of the Eagles in Super Bowl XXXIX against the Patriots. Nearly five years later, Mitchell has put the word out that he wants to break back into the league and would limit any trash-talking to his blog and other social networking sites on this go-round.

“I think it’s great that I don’t have to call guys out through the media anymore,” said Mitchell. “Twitter allows you to talk junk without the middleman. It’s so much easier, and significantly more addicting this way.”