Championship-starved LA fans release seven years of frustration

The Lakers’ victory over the Orlando Magic ended a seven-year championship drought that has dogged the city of Los Angeles since the Lakers won their third straight NBA title way back in 2002.

Fans took to the streets to release their years of pent-up frustration by trashing police cars, stomping on defenseless Toyota Corollas and looting nearby stores.

The LAPD was surprisingly cooperative throughout the night with early reports indicating that only 18 hoods were arrested despite widespread damage and looting.

“A lot of these guys were in high school last time the Lakers won a championship,” said one LA officer. “Unfortunately, most of them never left.”

Dwight Howard, Sixers watch Game 6 annihilation from hotel rooms

Satisfied with their seemingly comfortable Game 6 win on paper, the Sixers elected to watch the actual 114-89 flogging from their respective homes and hotel rooms.

Haphazard elbows from Dwight Howard in the previous game knocked himself (suspension) and Courtney Lee (fractured sinus) from being able to participate in last night’s game. The absence of two of Orlando’s starters gave the Sixers a commanding edge in Game 6 which they managed to turn into a debilitating handicap.

“No [Dwight] Howard, no [Courtney] Lee…and we get baked worse than we have in any game this series,” said Tony DiLeo. “I guess we actually were better off letting Howard camp out in the lane.”

Dalembert's nine solid minutes of tough on-ball defense not enough, Sixers fall

The 76ers secured the moral victory in Game 2 by holding Dwight Howard to only a modest 11-point, 10-rebound double-double, but took the demoralizing loss on Wednesday 96-87 to the Magic.

Andre Miller led the way with 30 points for the Sixers, who out shot the Magic from the floor, but Orlando took the edge on the free throw line making 22 shots to Philly’s 12.

Samuel Dalembert and Theo Ratliff combined for nine fouls and a hard-earned five points. Dalembert now has eight fouls and nine points in just over 26 minutes of play in the two playoffs games.

“I’m guarding Dwight-freakin’-Howard and the refs are calling everything on me,” said Dalembert. “My flying D-Bear roundhouse foot-punch isn’t actually a foul…or at least it shouldn’t be. It’s the only chance anyone has at stopping guys like Howard and Chris Paul.”