Total 'Dick' praises Madden as better sports broadcaster than Harry the K

Pro Football Hall of Famer and foot fungus ointment pitch-man John Madden announced his retirement on Thursday after 30 years in the broadcasting booth.

NBC Sports chief Dick Eberhart has selected Chris Collinsworth to replace the man he refered to as “the absolute best sports broadcaster who ever lived.”

When pressed to confirm that Eberhart was actually referring to Madden and not Vin Scully, Howard Cosell, Harry Caray, Jon Miller, Jim McKay, Bob Costas, Al Michaels, Curt Gowdy or the late Harry Kalas, Eberhart responded with “…did I stutter?”

Area Philly fans have taken issue with Ebersol’s comments not only based on the absurdity that Madden would rank higher than any sports broadcaster in the long history of sports broadcasting, but because of the poor timing the imbecile had in making the statement days after the passing of Harry Kalas.