Philadelphia residents forced to see what else on this week

In response to the Phillies’ sudden sweep of the Reds, Philadelphia mayor Michael Nutter urged Philadelphia residents to remain calm as city officials worked to find something else on television this week.

“We will all get through this together,” Nutter said at a Monday press conference. “With the garbage they have on TV now, I can’t promise it will be easy. But copies of Season 3 of ‘The Wire’ will be made available to affected families.”

Early reports indicate that at least 50,000 residents have already been forced from their homes to catch a movie.

Inexperience proves costly as Halladay allows walk in debut

The Phillies offense was able to bail Roy Halladay out of a fifth inning walk as the staff ace’s lack of experience caught up to him in his postseason debut.

Halladay looked visibly shaken as he struggled with his command against Reds outfielder Jay Bruce, but superb defense and several clutch hits propelled the Phillies to a 4-0 win in Game 1 of the National League Division Series.

“Roy’s a professional and will be just fine for us,” manager Charlie Manuel said when asked if he was concerned about Halladay. “I just told him to try and put this outing behind him and forget about the walk. No one expected him to be perfect out there.”

Manuel added that with the experience Halladay gained in his first start, he should have the confidence he needs to “learn from his mistake and pitch better in his next start.”

Halladay’s clutch RBI single leads Phillies to Game 1 victory

Propelled by a key, two-out RBI single in the second inning by Roy Halladay, the Phillies cruised to a 4-0 victory over the Reds in Game 1 of the National League Division Series.

Playing in his first ever postseason game after 12 seasons in the majors, Halladay singled to left field off of Edinson Volquez, scoring Carlos Ruiz to put the Phillies up by a count of 2-0  in one of the more memorable moments in Phillies postseason history.

“I was just focusing on putting the bat on the ball and making some contact,” Halladay said of his clutch hit. “People are trying to make a big deal out of it, but I was just doing my job out there, which is to get on base and score runs any way I can.”

On the mound, Halladay scattered zero hits over nine innings of work, earning his first career postseason win.

Mets sign Jason Bay, still completely irrelevant

It looks like Jason Bay really loves that paper after signing with a disaster of an organization that plays in a stadium the size of Central Park. His power numbers will fall and his chances of a World Series will tank even further.

Bay and his 4-year $66 million contract will join David Wright and his 10 home runs from last season as the only two batters that remotely resemble a threat in the Mess’ order. Most people can’t even name one Cincinnati Reds player and yet they managed to score more runs than the Mets and their overpriced talent last season.

Wright led the Mess with 72 RBI last season, which would rank below Jimmy Rollins (77), who kept the bat on his shoulder and occasionally used it to pop the ball into the air for five out of six months last season. On the up-side, Wright did finish with more RBI than Shane Victorino (62), Carlos Ruiz (43) and Eric Bruntlett (7).

Though the pickup of Kelvim Escobar was a step in the right direction — a move I wish the Phils could have made — no one should even consider the Mets a contender for the #4 spot in the NL East until they get someone else to throw besides John Maine and a slew of head cases.

Signing Bay is a cosmetic move that might make the Mets look like they’re trying to be presentable in public, but most of us know what lies beneath. And it’s hot and fugly under there.

Hamels, Howard taking devastating World Series loss in stride

The Phillies lost their bid to become the first back-to-back World Series champions since the 1976 Cincinnati Reds as the Yankees took home their 27th championship in team history. Many members of the Phils could barely pull themselves off the dugout floor after taking a roundhouse kick to the junk, but Cole Hamels and Ryan Howard managed to hold their heads high in defeat.

“Oh my gosh, it’s finally over!” exclaimed Hamels, somehow in the middle of the Yankees clubhouse celebration. “It’s something I honestly thought would never happen but here we are and it’s just unreal. Such an incredible feeling. I’m glowing…do you see this? I’m actually glowing right now.”

Howard set a World Series record by striking out 13 times in the six-game series, but was relatively upbeat after Wednesday’s loss.

“I’m not gonna lie, it does hurt a little,” Howard said after spraying the Bronx crowd with two bottles of champagne. “But I don’t think anyone should be disappointed with the way things turned out. People are probably gonna say that we could have easily beat the Yanks and you know what? They’re probably right. But DJ Hero is finally out for my Xbox and I’ve only got about 96 days to get rollin’ on that, so…umm…love, peace and chicken grease, I’m out.”