Cam Newton denies ever receiving education from Auburn
Despite recent allegations that Cam Newton received free textbooks, access to a state-of-the-art library, instruction from over 10 professors and one-on-one sessions with at least five tutors during his one-year stint with Auburn University, the quarterback maintains that he never took advantage of a any such academic benefits.
“I always had guys breathing down my neck about taking advantage of classes, but I always refused,” Newton said one day after declaring himself eligible for the NFL draft. “People can say what they want, but I didn’t go to a single class when I was there. Not one. I promise you the only way those professors even know who I am is through the news.”
As of press time, more than 50,000 current and former student athletes have also come forward to deny charges that they ever took advantage of a free education from their respective schools.
Cam Newton too emotional to notice that’s not Heisman
An emotional Cameron Newton thanked his mother and father, then paused to compose himself as he unknowingly accepted the Craddock Little League Most Improved Player Award on Saturday night.
The Heisman Trust opted to replace the real Heisman Trophy at the last minute in an effort to save Newton the embarrassment of having to returning the trophy a few years from now or possibly later today.
“I think this decision satisfies everyone involved,” said Heisman Trust president William J. Dockery. “We get to keep our beloved trophy and by the time Cameron and his family realize we gave them a fake, the NCAA will have found him guilty of about 70 other violations anyway, so…yeah…win-win.”
The Heisman Trust would later apologize for incorrectly spelling Newton’s name “Cheats McGee, Jr” and asked that he surrender the trophy immediately so they can take care of that for him.
