The Mets unveiled their 2011 promotional items on Friday and have assured fans that none of the over 7,000 items in the unorganized pile came from the recently closed Citi Field lost and found.

“This year, like every year before, we are thrilled to give away brand new items,” said Mets general manager Sandy Alderson. “We will open our home schedule against the Nationals with Harrah’s Engraved Necklace Night, where the first Karen that loves a Stew will receive a personalized necklace. Other great promotions will include Chevy Size 8 Left Shoe Night and our soon-to-be-popular Delta Air Lines Mets Jacket With Brown Stuff On It Night.”

Alderson went on to say that if anyone happens to receive a watch with the engraving “SA” during one of the promotions, to return it immediately in exchange for a denim jacket.