Following Tuesday’s arrest in Los Angeles for making criminal threats against an unidentified woman, Mariners outfielder Milton Bradley was ordered by a judge to lecture children on the many dangers of being anywhere near him.

“It’s not a game out there, children. Your lives are in danger even as I speak,” Bradley warned a group of students at Belvedere Elementary School in Los Angeles. “I’m standing in front of you right now to warn you that you should never, ever, under any circumstances, let me stand in front of you.”

Bradley concluded the assembly by brutally assaulting a nearby custodian to further illustrate the dangers of even looking at him the wrong way.