The Phillies announced that they will likely be without most of their lineup for tonight’s game against the Cardinals after at least 11 players called out sick of hitting this morning.

“You’re only supposed to get like five sick of hitting days a year but Jimmy’s gotta be pushing 50 by now,” said manager Charlie Manuel. ” I know they’re genuinely sick of hitting, but there are plenty of people out there sick of watching them hit and yet they still watch. These guys are gonna have to suck it up and start showing up to work again.”

Sources close to the Phillies are also expecting reliever Danys Baez to call out sick of pitching again any minute now.