The Eagles are just assumed to have lost to the Cowboys in Saturday’s wildcard matchup, though no one in the entire Tri-State area actually watched the end of the game to confirm the final outcome or score.

A local man named Jerry Cole reported Sunday morning that the score was “probably 392-7 or some s-t like that.”

“I stopped watching at halftime, but that sounds about right,” Cole added.

Another man that threw his television out of his window midway through the third quarter claimed the 392-7 score was grossly inaccurate.

“I probably watched more of the game than anybody, and I’m telling you the final score was about 84-7,” said Greg Alban, who read a book for the remainder of the game after his television was destroyed.

The Cowboys will move on to face the Minnesota Vikings next week while the Eagles will face an exciting offseason that will probably include letting Donovan McNabb and Brian Westbrook go and signing Plaxico Burress or someone else that will piss off most of the fan base.