After having two procedures to drain fluid from its arthritic body, Allen Iverson’s left knee has decided to call it quits. After 13 grueling seasons, Iverson’s body has clearly taken a beating, but this is the first indication of surrender from an individual body part. The former MVP’s left knee insists it can still compete at the highest level, but this decision will afford it more quality time with its anatomical family and friends, chiefly Iverson’s elbow and shoulder.

“I always thought that when I left the game, it would be because I couldn’t help Allen the way that I was accustomed to,” said the desolate knee. “However, that is not the case. I’m still as capable as his right knee and believe I can compete with the best knees in the NBA.”

Although Iverson, along with his left knee, missed the last two games, he insists he can coerce his knee to returning.

“My left knee spent some regrettable time in Detroit and Memphis followed by a month long vacation on my couch, but now we are home,” said Iverson. “My right knee has recognized this opportunity…there is no reason my left won’t.”