Shane Victorino will represent the Phillies and the National League in the 2009 All-Star Game thanks to an overwhelming response in the All-Star Final Vote. The “Vote for Victorino” and “Bran Torino” campaigns not only earned the Phils centerfielder his first All-Star selection, but he also managed to edge incumbent Ray Stronach to become mayor of Knob Lick, KY.

I would carry on with this weak satire idea, but I really just wanted to make light of a real life town called Knob Lick, KY. My first thought was of a “Knob Lick High School” but then I realized that Knob Lickers (along with the rest of Kentucky) probably don’t do school. I’m sure you can fill in the blanks with your own town slogans, eateries and novelty shops from there.

I came across a couple other absurd town names in the process that I thought I’d share: Oatmeal, TX; Monkey’s Eyebrow, AZ; Smut Eye, AL; Hambone, CA; Mianus, CT; Hopeulikit, GA; Grosse Tete, LA; Bald Butte, MT; Mud Butte, SD; Coxsackie, NY; Threeway and Fourway, VA; and Booger Hole, WV.