The mere thought of adding Roy Halladay to the defending World Champions’ roster has left some Philadelphians waist-deep in their own slobber and without power last night.

The situation in the Delaware Valley may get worse before it gets any better as more and more fans realize just how freaking incredible the Phillies would be with Roy Hall-of-Fame-some-a-day atop their rotation.

“I was out at P.J. Welihan’s with my boys talking about the whole Halladay situation,” said Ryan Billings, a South Jersey Phillies fan. “The next thing we know, everybody in the bar is talking about it and we’re all wallowing in our own saliva. Sounds really gross, but we didn’t really care. We just want Halladay.”

Halladay would give Phils fans the opportunity to look back 10 years from now and say they witnessed not only the greatest team in franchise history, but possibly one of the greatest in major league history.

By 2019, Chase Utley will have officially become the greatest second baseman to play the game. Ryan Howard will be the most prolific home run hitter since Babe Ruth. Jimmy Rollins will have punched his ticket to Cooperstown with his 3,000th career hit. The rotation of Roy Halladay, Cole Hamels, Joe Blanton, Jamie Moyer and Pedro Martinez may end up with the largest career win totals of any rotation ever. Jayson Werth will have his own statue in front of The Bank, capturing his signature strikeout, fall-on-one-knee swing and best of all, the Phils will have won back-to-back World Series and quite possibly an unprecedented twelve-peat.

EDITOR’S NOTE TO PHILLIES FRONT OFFICE: Stop farting around and get this done.