Early draft grades were being dealt out by any and every self-appointed NFL analyst on Saturday night in judgment of teams’ first two rounds.

The consensus among the national talking heads is that the Eagles struck relative gold with their first-round pick of Jeremy Maclin and their late second-round selection of LeSean McCoy. However, no one really cares what they think anyway because a coked-up spider monkey  could do their job.

No one imagined that Maclin would ever be available anywhere near the Eagles’ pick at 21 because the hype machine’s (a.k.a ESPN) Todd McShay and Mel Kiper guaranteed the receiver would be taken somehwhere in the first ten picks.

“It’s a good thing we don’t pay any attention to any of the mock drafts or big-haired hired heads,” said Eagles GM Tom Heckert.  “It must be a sweet job though, to make predictions for a living and then give others ‘Fs’ when your predictions fail miserably.”